I would like you to know that the Olympians are dying of some sort of disease. I know this because an R1 prompt appears and when I press R1 it tells me that the Olympians are dying of some weird disease. I seem to be getting this prompt a lot. I blame this all on Hermes and I want to discuss that for a moment.
When Kratos killed Ares, he just died. The Gods were able to preserve his body on Olympus. When Kratos killed Athena she exploded, but nothing bad seemed to happen. Heck, she actually moved on to a higher plain of existence. When Kratos killed Poseidon the seas rose and went out of control. That makes sense, Poseidon was God of the Sea. When Kratos killed Helios the sun vanished. That also makes sense, Helios was the Sun God (or something like it). He pulled the Sun across the sky by using his flaming chariot. When Kratos killed Hermes, Hermes turned into a bunch of...flies? Isn't Hermes the messenger of the Gods and that's why he was really fast? Why did he turn into a plague? It doesn't make any sense. I just figured everyone would move slower, or that the mail would stop being delivered. At least those would be related to the guy. Can anyone help?
Now when I last played I was just outside of Aphrodite's chamber. Turns out I didn't miss the sex mini-game after all. Instead of slipping it in early on in the game the devs waited until much later. Kratos gets to bang Aphrodite herself in the most cheescake'd mini-game of them all. The vase falling off the stand in the first game made me chuckle because it was silly. The spray from the peeing statue in the second game made me roll my eyes because it was stupid. But this time two half dressed girls give commentary about how this "event" is for mature audiences only and they lament on how jealous they are of Aphrodite before they get so hot and bothered that they jump each other. Well, I never said God of War was a high-class game. The series pretty much runs on the sex and violence formula, so, yeah, let's just go with it.
After the little tryst Kratos goes back to Hades. No I'm not kidding, Aphrodite tells Kratos that he needs to talk to Hephaestus and that only he can help Kratos beat the Labyrinth. So Kratos gladly goes back to Hades to talk to this guy. Hephaestus eventually agrees to help Kratos, but it takes a bit to convince him. Personally I felt that Hephaestus switched sides too quickly. Hephaestus truly loves Pandora like a daughter and I would like to believe that no father would sacrifice their child, even for revenge. Heck it was the death of Kratos' wife and daughter that started him on this blood-fueled killing spree.
Hephaestus sends Kratos to the Pits of Tartarus. Apparently this is where the final battle between the Gods and the Titans took place. Of course that event never happened since Kratos zapped all of the Titans to the future, sheesh. The game overlooks this glaring continuity issue and moves forward. Tartarus is a very short area. The main purpose is the fight against Cronos. Cronos is mad at Kratos for opening Pandora's Box and getting him sent to Tartarus. I would figure that this place would be better then wandering the desert endlessly and being torn apart by sand. At least now Cronos should be able to take a nap or something. Cronos is a massive battle that involves a lot of QTEs. The biggest problem I had was at the beginning when I couldn't figure out how to really start the fight. Cronos' eyes were glowing, but I had no idea what that clue meant, I had never seen that effect before. Apparently you have to blind him with Helios' head.
Once that was out of the way the fight became pretty simple. Oddly the most painful looking moment for me was when Kratos ripped off Cronos' fingernail. That made me cringe. I do have to wonder if part of this area was cut though. During the first level Kratos spent some time running around inside of Gaia. During the fight against Cronos, Kratos gets eaten. I figured there would be some running around Cronos' insides then. Instead Kratos quickly slices his way out with this special stone in tow (the stone is the actual reason Kratos is here). The fight ends pretty quickly after this. The production value of this fight is off the charts though. Kratos feels like an insect fighting this massive Titan. It's very visually impressive.
With Cronos dead Kratos returns to Hephaestus. Hephaestus uses the stone to create a new weapon for Kratos and he then immediately tries to kill Kratos. This of course fails and Kratos kills him instead. It's nice to see that Hephaestus was actually trying to protect his daughter. Stupidly though the weapon that Hephaestus just made for Kratos is the cause of his undoing. Maybe the guy should have planned better...
Kratos should never meet new people, they always die. Kratos now has a new weapon, the Nemesis Whip. Sadly the Nemesis Whip is also pretty similar to the Exile Blades, Kratos' main weapon. The sword, hammer, and spear from the first two games were more original than this. Three of Kratos' weapons are blades attached to the end of chains that he can swing around and kill stuff with. The only reason I actually pull them out is to solve certain puzzles, or maybe to use their special attack. This is just such a low point on the creativity scale for this game series.
So Kratos goes back to the Labyrinth and with his new weapon he can now enter it properly. Here we get to read the mad ramblings of another architect. This time it's Daedalus the father of Icarus. Daedalus builds the Labyrinth after Zeus promises to bring his son back. Perhaps I should tell him that Icarus wasn't dead. He was very much alive until he met Kratos in God of War II. This also makes me wonder how much time passes between God of War and God of War II. Daedalus worked on this Labyrinth for over 4,500 days. That's at least 12 years! And everything in the series points to this Labyrinth not being built until after Kratos had opened Pandora's box.
Shortly thereafter Kratos encounters Hera again. She's angry because everything is dying. She does mock Kratos and tells him that he'll die from old age trying to solve this Labyrinth. I get a feeling that she's going to die very soon.
And that's where I'm at. Should be pretty strong with God of War III from here on out. I might end up playing some more Marvel vs Capcom 3 though. I do like unlocking characters for the model viewer.
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