Zen Pinball - Pinball Dreams

So Castlevania is giving me the queasies so I decided to play something a little more stable. I’ve always been a pinball fan; I’ve enjoyed it for years. Pinball games are the main reason I’m sad about the decline of arcades in America. It can be hard to find a pinball table, let alone a good pinball table anymore.

Thankfully we have simulated pinball tables and Zen Pinball is probably the best out there. I picked this game up a while back for the PlayStation Network. It was only $10 dollars, well worth the money.

Well worth it

Pinball has always been a physics game so Zen studios created an awesome pinball physics simulator for their game. The ball bounces around in ways that you would expect. It has a random feel to it, but at the same time you know that you can control the ball if you take time to aim you shots. It’s a lot of fun and it can easily steal an hour or two of your life.

The initial game comes with 4 boards, V12 (car based) Shaman (voodoo magic based), Tesla (electricity based), and El Dorado (Indiana Jones based). Out of these boards Tesla is my favorite just for its steampunk look. There’s a lot to do an each board with “quests” appearing as you nail targets. You need to control you ball to succeed and just like regular pinball that takes some time. So it is able to maintain a realistic pinball learning curve which I like.

The game has plenty of DLC tables available. Earth Defense (old sci-fi movie alien invasion based, Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2 (obvious), and Street Fighter II Tribute (also obvious) are the tables that I have picked up. There’s also an Excalibur, Mars, Sorcerer's Lair and Paranormal. They all go for $2.50 a piece. Grab some and give the game some more variety.

Zen Pinball also allows for custom music. Nothings beats whacking a ball around while the Cliffs of Dover plays in the background. Very cathartic.

I was playing on the Street Fighter II board last night and for the life of me I can’t figure out why the game focuses on the car smashing and the barrel breaking mini-games so much. They couldn’t get enough quests from the core game or something that they had to use the mini-games for inspiration? That strikes me as lazy. Plus this is a very small board compared to most of the others. The Ninja Gaiden Sigma II board is awesome. Now why did I just get all wet? How is that related to Street Fighter?

Like any game it has its share of flaws. The ball almost seems too eager to leave the table. I swear I end up using the ‘ball saved’ feature nearly every round. It doesn’t help where on tables like Earth Defense you would almost swear that the ball is purposefully launched to go into the hole between the two paddles.

The load times for each table is pretty horrid. It feels like nearly a minute has passed for some tables before you get to actually play. The main boards have this, but it feels even worse on the DLC boards. Once you get into the table you don’t have to worry about load times. But the length of them can be a detractor if you’re looking to change tables. I really have to contemplate if a table change is worth it.

Also, the screen that tells you what your current quest is really needs some tweaking. It’s just small and out of the way, I barely notice that it’s there until I lose my current ball. My wife kept reading it to me last night. I had no idea it changed as often as it did.

Overall though, the game is fun. I still highly recommend it. But I would recommend Ninja Gaiden over Street Fighter for DLC tables. Ninja Gaiden has some awesome skill shots in it, Street Fighter just makes you wet.

Castlevania: Lords Of Shadow - Not The Actual Library

Turns out I didn’t save. Once you complete an area you actually have to select the “Continue Quest” option or else the game does not save. It wasn’t as awful as I feared. I just had to repeat the teleporter puzzle again. I knew how this section worked so it was pretty simple to get through. That actually worked against me however. Last time I completed the level I had over 2500 skill points and I was able to buy a new skill. This time I only had 2375 skill points when the level ended so I was not able to buy a new skill before moving on to the next area. This made me very sad. But less than 10 minutes later I was finished with the room again and onto the next area.

Now when I walk into a room full of books I’m going to make the assumption that I am in a library. That apparently is not the case. I guess Gabriel and Zobek wandered into the library storage area and they have to find their way to the main library. I have no idea why the main library is important but it at least gives them a short term goal.

Now it was blatantly obvious what was going to happen when Zobek wandered on one side of a gate and Gabriel stayed on the other. The two know that the abbey is full of traps; you think they would prepare for something this obvious. So when a gate slams shut and cuts them off from each other they should just feel silly about not expecting it.

Here we meet the Animated Armor. It’s a giant suit of armor that carries a big shield and is empty inside, hence the name. The shield is important to this enemy since you have to rip it off in order to finally beat the thing. I missed this at first and just kept pounding away at it wondering why it wouldn’t die. They are slow and pretty easy to fight. I got some nice orbs off of them so I felt pretty confident using shadow magic to take them down quicker.

I don’t quite get the next scene however. Once the Armors are dead Zobek declares he’s “got it!” He appears to be holding a fake book so I’m thinking he found the key. Instead he turns around and smashes a desk with his sword revealing a lever. So I’m stuck wondering, “Did the fake book just tell him to do that?” Zobek pulls the lever and a small escape hatch in the ceiling opens. Thankfully Gabriel has his trusty hookshot ability and can just zip right on up there. Gabriel gets through the escape hatch just as 20 more Armors spawn behind him. I guess Zobek is screwed.

I have to refer to an earlier comment of mine. The abbey is designed to keep one person out at time, period. If two or more people enter they can overcome the traps that the Abbot has set. Gabriel and Zobek also happen to enter with the exact skillset necessary to overcome the traps. Sure if the town folks had invaded it would have been slower going. But they could have succeeded with only minor casualties. I really think they should have gone for it.

The next area of the library is ‘redirecting a beam of light puzzle’. There’s some light fighting but nothing serious. The puzzle is also pretty obvious, just a little time consuming. I really think I deserved more than 500 xp for beating the puzzle too. That stupid thing took forever.

I really wish they would learn to hold the camera still, or maybe do a game update where they give the option to turn the camera shake off. I wanted to play more last night but the camera shake had me feeling too nauseous to continue. 

To Dream A Dream

I have a dream! But then again, who doesn’t? But my dream is not a simple dream. I want to start my own video game company. I’ve wanted to do this for many, many years now. I just lack the knowledge of how to go about it. But I feel that my time is coming. In the meantime I will discuss a fan concept that I have.

Now I do enjoy the Dynasty Warriors series. Yes I can agree with most people that it can really use some shaking up to the current formula. But that’s not the point. I enjoy the massive cast of characters and the unique personalities that they bring. So I’ve decided that I want to do a cross-over series with characters from various action games.

The game would include characters like Kratos, Dante, Bayonetta, and many others from the action game category or characters with enough animations to make a valid moveset off of. For me, this game would be awesome. Giant, sweeping, epic battles were the characters take down thousands of enemy troops. Except for Batman, he wouldn’t kill them, just knock them all unconscious.

Still it would be a uber-geek fight fest. No it wouldn’t answer the question between who would win between Kratos and Dante. That would depend upon player skill. But it would be exciting to see these characters fighting side-by-side. Or against each other, that could be fun too. Maybe create some epic rivalries out of it.

There is a lot of potential for a game like this. I really wish I had the skills to put it together. But since it would be a PS3 game then it would require a fairly decent team to rip the models (if that’s even possible), build a working engine, combat system, build levels, set up lighting and many, many other tasks.

Still, I can dream. And I will continue to dream and maybe one day my dream could come true. That would sure be nice.

Castlevania: Lords Of Shadow - And Zobek Came Back The Very Next Day

Okay, now where was I? It has been a little while since I’ve pulled Castlevania out so I need to quickly re-orientate myself. But it’s ok because Patrick Stewart is here to tell me what is going on. This is great because I was feeling a little behind.

Chapter V. Gabriel has followed Zobek to the land of the vampires. First off this doesn’t make any sense. The only reason Gabriel would follow Zobek is because he doesn’t trust him to finish the task. This would have worked better if Zobek had been captured or if he had sent a message to Gabriel saying he needed help. Without those Gabriel should have skipped ahead to the third Lord of Shadow and then waited for Zobek to catch up, which would have made sense. I’m going to blame this on Pan though. He dropped Gabriel off at this location so that is the semi-plausible reason we have to work with.

The first area, The Veros Woods, is very straight forward. This actually would have been a nice little level if it hadn’t been for the Chupacabra. Chupacabras are not fun. I do not find their stupid little game of hide and seek enjoyable. I do not enjoy listening to their stupid Yoda speech while they are heckling you. If you’re curious how to catch this one, you have to use a fairy to distract it.

Next up is the town of Wygol. No, I don’t know who came up with the name but I kind of like it. The fact that a town survives in such a hostile area surprises me. I’m not talking about the bitter cold, I’m talking about the vampires. They should have ransacked this town ages ago and created a livestock-breeding program out of the remaining humans. That’s what I would do if I was a vampire.

This town is where we meet Zobek again. Apparently he failed in his quest because he was too busy crying over dead people in the graveyard. But that’s ok because Gabriel has shown up with all of his unbridled anger and fury to save the day. But first Zobek has to explain the current situation in the town. It has to do with the Abbot of the town barricading himself in the abbey and going insane, leaving the townspeople to fend for themselves. This actually aggravates Gabriel who finally shows some emotion at the cowardly act of the Abbot. Since Gabriel and Zobek need to get a relic from the abbey they have time to deal with the Abbot.

But first they have to kill some zombies. Fine, they call them Ghouls. It’s a pretty interesting section of combat actually. Ghouls will keep spawning unless you cover the hole that they are spawning from. This requires knocking statues down on top of the hole. It can be a little tricky and you have to most fast, the ghouls don’t give a lot time between waves. Overall I liked this area. It was also nice to see Zobek fighting alongside Gabriel. I’m still expecting his betrayal at some point though. We don’t know Zobek’s real motivation yet.

Then it is into the abbey to deal with the Abbot, but first you must get through his many traps. The traps are not hard if you have two fit and competent people running through the area. Sure a single person would probably get killed, but not two. This means that if the whole town had raided the abbey they would have been fine. We’re introduced to a new enemy, vampires. I would have to assume that Dracula is nearby then. No, he probably isn’t. Is he even in this game?

Again Zobek helps out so that makes life a little easier. I’m learning to love fairies. They nicely distract enemies and if I kill the enemy they are distracting they quickly move onto the next foe. The will keep doing this until their time runs out. That is cool by me. This allows me to easily fill up my combo meter and get magic orbs galore.

This part of the abbey isn’t hard, there’s a small puzzle involving a lever handle that Gabriel bizarrely calls a crowbar. I don’t understand why, but he does. I can see it being called a cross bar or something, that would at least make sense.

There’s a little light/teleporter puzzle in the second section of the level that was fun. It’s not a hard, it just involved pointing a compass at the correct side of the room, but I had fun with it. I don’t know if Zobek can die so I was a little nervous leaving him by himself for spurts at a time while I was off gathering collectibles. I also question if ghouls give xp every time you kill them and could I have used this location to farm some xp…

Those are thoughts for another day. I hoped I saved…

Lunch Break - Empire & Allies by Zynga

I rarely play a Facebook game. For the most part I don’t care about Facebook and I find most of their games dull and repetitive. I played Farmville for a month or so. I did the whole “add random friends for gifts” during this time. Of course, this was the first Facebook game I had ever played so I wasn’t used to their whole system yet.

I got bored with Farmville really fast. I also hated having to get on at a certain time to harvest my crops. My game, my choice of when I play. Period. Then I got tired of people I didn’t know see me post about my personal life. So at work people recently started playing Empires & Allies by Zynga. They wanted me to join them so foolishly, I did. Boy Zynga seems to have this Facebook system figured out.

The game is vastly more interesting than Farmville, it helps that it has military strategy going for it.  But it also has the exact same pitfalls as Farmville. The concept is that you are trying to grow a small island nation. You have to fend off attacks from friends and enemies. You build military bases, you build houses, you build factories all of which give supplies and allow you to build more stuff. Hey, this is basic RTS gameplay!

Once you’ve gathered some resources and built some troops you can go on the offensive and attack pre-made enemies or you can invade the people on your friendladder.

But the core game is 95% identical to Farmville. Every building is a type of crop and you have to harvest after so much real time has passed. Then you have to replant at that building again and wait for the building to be ready to harvest again. It is such a simple gameplay mechanic and it really works to suck in the casual player.

 I may not like Zynga, but I do have to respect how they make games. They are able to understand the OCD tendancies of many humans. They are able to drag people back to their games repeatedly. It is just amazing to watch.

Thankfully I am immune to Zynga games. After two days of playing I was done with Empire and Allies. I’ll stick to single player fun thanks.

Angry Birds - The Tale Of A Suicide Squad

Lunch Break time again! This is the column where I talk about the games I play during lunch.

Angry Birds is what I would call a massive success. The game has sold over 2 million copies and is available on all major platforms. The game is played by people of all ages. Congrats, this is the game that turned grandma into a gamer. The version I played requires the Google Chrome browser, though it looks like FireFox 4 might be able to handle it. Recently Google added a free copy of Angry Birds to their Chrome store and since I have Chrome I decided I would finally give the game a try.

Look kind of similar to you?

I had never played Angry Birds before but I instantly knew how to control it. Angry Birds is almost identical to the flash game Crush the Castle from 2009 (and even that takes from an earlier game called Castle Clout). In Angry Birds your goal is to defeat the evil pigs by launching suicidal birds into the various structures where the pigs are hiding. You must cause enough damage to pigs to defeat them in order to move on to the next level. Each level also has a Star Goal. If you can defeat the level without using all of your birds and/or causing enough damage to get high enough score you get awarded stars. 

The concept is simple, but not original. In Crush the Castle your goal is to defeat the evil monarchy by launching rocks into the castles where the monarchy is hiding. Sounds kinda familiar doesn’t it?

Crush the Castle is a decent game, so why does Angry Birds outshine it? The answer actually quite simple, personality. Angry Birds is overflowing with personality. From the unique look of the various birds, to the noises they make when you slingshot them across the screen.. It’s really enough to tick you off if you fail to take down a pig and the dumb thing mockingly oinks at you! Then you really want to go back and keep trying just to wipe the smug look off of the pig’s face.

Crush the Castle does not have this. The game is stale and lacks almost all personality. The world is “realistic” (read: dull brown and grey).  And the rocks you fling are, well, just rocks. The world of Angry Birds is bright and vibrant. When you launch a bird they scream out a battle cry of challenge. You can’t help but root for the birds as they struggle to reclaim their eggs from the pigs. The birds are willing to sacrifice their very lives for their offspring.

The birds themselves are likeable in every way. Some are cute, some are endearing, some are silly, and others are just fun. The issue I have with Angry Birds (besides not being original) is that I find the gameplay concept to simple. Pac-Man in simple, but I can play that repeatedly. Angry Birds, on the other hand, got boring fast. I’m not one to aim for trophies or achievements so getting the highest star points meant nothing to me. So after I had flung birds around for 30 minutes I put the game down and walked away. Probably never to return.

This does not mean the game is bad, it isn’t. It can be fun and I can understand why our OCD society would be driven to complete levels and gain stars. The whole, “Just one more round” mentality is easy to fall into with a game like Angry Birds. And those obnoxious pigs really make you want to smack them.

Billy Vs Snakeman - A Parody

Lunch time! Oh yeah! It’s nice to work at a place with a good internet connection. This makes it easier to play online games. I figure I’ll try to do a little ‘Lunch  Break’ column and see where that gets me. This will be me playing various flash games and talking about them.

First up is a game that I play nearly every day. Billy vs Snakeman is an online anime parody game made by Al McMasters. The premise is fairly simple. You’re a ninja and you’ve been dropped into a war. You get to join a village, help it grow, go on missions, gain new allies, unlock power ups, and just have fun. It really is a simple game but there’s plenty to do.

At the start of every day you’re given a set amount of Stamina. Stamina is what you use for your normal actions such as doing missions, spying on other villages, or fighting giant monsters. As you complete these tasks you level up and are eventually able to do quests to earn a higher rank. Higher rank means more Stamina and tougher missions. Once you’ve reached a high enough level you can “Loop”.

The game treats you like you’re in a TV series. When you loop you’ve completed that season and move onto the next season. The benefit of this is a higher level cap for each season, plus new content becomes available once you loop. It’s a nice feature and I get a kick out of it. I’ve been playing for two years and I’m currently season 10.

The game is initially based off of the Naruto anime series. Over the years other series have been shoehorned into the lore. Bleach is a big one as you can unlock an entire section for Soul Reapers. Gundam, Lucky Star, .hack have also seen themselves nicely parodied.

The game is pretty simple though and that can be a turn off for many people. With missions just being a screen with a button that basically says “DO” it can seem like there’s nothing to the game. This is the type of game that you need to stick with. The longer you play the better things get. Fighting through a hoard of Zombjas (zombie ninjas), piloting giant robots, battling in the arena, and flipping burgers are just some of the many things that can be unlocked as you progress through the game.

I recommend you check it out. Tell them Convoy sent you.

Be the Ultimate Ninja! Play Billy Vs. SNAKEMAN today!